WOAH.

So, it's been a really long time, and a lot of shit has happened.
I had a new girlfriend, and things were going really well.

Then she cheated on me and everything went downhill from there.

Now I'm settled on never talking to her ever again, and I'm fine with it.

So anyway, I'm basically over her already.

My logic behind it is, why should I waste time, energy and thought processes on someone who'll only hurt me in the end?

The answer?
I shouldn't.

Therefore, I'm pushing myself past this.

I kinda already have my eyes on someone else... but I doubt anything'll spring out of it.

We were really close once, and we had fantastic conversations back in the day.

But she got really mad because of something did, and we stopped talking after that.

Since then, we've made up and are at least civil, but I don't think she thinks anything of it.

So far, I want to get closer to her and at least have good conversations again...

And after that, anything can happen, right?

I guess we'll just have to see.

Oh,

P.S.

New song of the week is Six Days Remix (feat. Mos Def) by DJ Shadow vs. Annie's horn by D-Code. It's a song from DJ Hero, but I like it because it's ridonkulously catchy.

(:

Song of the Week.

I know it's been more than a week, but I don't care.

This song needs no explanation.

Song of the Week.

This song isn't for most of the people I know. 

I just fucking love this song right now.

If anyone who reads this happens to like it,

Other good songs are 

Sequoia Throne, Bloodmeat and Blindfolds Aside.

Those songs are equally as awesome.

I love Protest the Hero.

Deal with it.

Warmness on the Soul.

This song... It's beautiful.

Your hazel green tint eyes watching every move I make.
And that feeling of doubt, it's erased.
I'll never feel alone again with you by my side.
You're the one, and in you I confide. And we have gone through good and bad times.
But your unconditional love was always on my mind.
You've been there from the start for me.
And your loves always been true as can be.
I give my heart to you.
I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you.

I wish I could write music like this.

Second Chances.

Second chances are very weird things.

On one hand, if you accidentally did something to someone that you didn't mean to do and you really want to be friends with them, second chances are good.

On the other hand, they're in short supply.

People don't like giving out second chances.

I, however, don't blow things into disrepair so that you even need a second chance.

And if someone fucks up bad enough to make me even think about a second chance, there's no way I'm giving one.

I'm very lenient with them, I've only had 2 or 3 people that pissed me off enough for me to enforce this, and they were all a long time ago.

Now to rant about YouTube.

I don't know if it's about YouTube or the video itself, but YT won't let me upload anything.

At all.

And it sucks, because I just got a really good achievement.

and no one can see it yet.

FFFFFFFFF-

Apologies.

I apologized for everything I did. I took it all back. I admitted she didn't deserve it.

What do you want from me?

Everyone freaks out every once in a while.

Why am I not allowed?

She won't ever even know I said any of that.

I deleted it, it's a thing of the past.

I'm sorry about ever saying it.

If that's not enough, maybe this was all a waste of time.

Lrn2respectpersonalopinion

Side Note.

It's amazing how much someone's mood can change within half an hour.

Vent.

NOPE.

Song of the Week.

OKAY I KNOW IT'S A BILLY TALENT SONG BUT I JUST THINK IT'S CATCHY AND THE DRUMS ARE AWESOME DON'T JUDGE ME GEEZ.

Sleep.

I like sleeping.

It takes me away from everything for a few hours.

I rarely dream, but I can continue thinking when I'm sleeping.

I usually figure out some pretty awesome stuff.

But then I forget it when I wake up.

I've been waking up at 6:30 lately...

Like, actually getting up.

By myself.

wtf.

My parents usually wake me up, because I suck at getting up.

Usually.

Now, with no one having the burden of waking me up, I take the initiative, I guess.

I usually sleep in till 7:30.

I usually still feel tired, because I go to bed at 12~ and then wake up at 7:30.

Now, I'm going to bed at 1~ and waking up at 6:30 and feeling fine.

I don't understand my body at all.

:\

A while.

Yup. It's been a bit, but I haven't had a lot to blog about..

I'm going to a friend's house tomorrow, it should be fun.

Been playing rock band more, still freaking awesome.

Although, something new would be that I see things completely differently now.

And it's really good seeing things this way.

I can't thank you enough, for opening my eyes.

Song of the Week.

So I have a new song,

It's possibly my favourite song ever.

Yeah, I know it's a rap song.

But just the fact that it's about Mega Man,

Makes it awesome.

Warning, it has a lot of swears.

But still, I tried playing Mega Man 2 today,

And I couldn't beat Metal Man.

Even though he's no big deal.

He killed me, even after I used my E Tank.

I don't know how the dude made it seem so easy.

>.>

I LOVE EVERYTHING.

Is this real life?

RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I.. is this going to be over?

I- I have- I have two fingers.

___________________________________

I'm so at peace right now.

I know who my friends are, and I know how they feel.

I realized how good it is to help people out.

It really makes me feel good about myself to help people out.

So yeah.

I love everything.

No, I haven't done drugs.

I'm just in a state of bliss, I guess.

And now, a quote from Alex Mark, my dearest friend.

 "You fucking emo piece of shit. I lost the game, you emo asshole."

Glee.

 :D

Realize.

I'm pathetic.

I'm so fucking weak.

I'm a loser.

I don't even care if anyone says otherwise, because I know that no one actually cares about me.

Who would?

I fucking mooch off of people, and then don't let them return the favour.

I take, and take, and take until there's no more. Then I move on.

Why do I have to be such a fuck up?

Why do I have to fall so easily?

I fall way too far into love, I care too much.

I can't fucking get over her.

She basically just agreed with all the things I just said,

It's obvious she doesn't want me.

She obviously thinks I'm a huge loser.

Even though I know all these things,

Why do I want her so much?

Because she makes me feel right, and I can't imagine life without her.

Yeah. I'm a loser.

I follow my heart.

Literature.

I just got back from a nice night with my family.

We saw "Adventureland".

Not really family-appropriate, but it was a good night out.

It was a good movie, good acting, laughs.

I got a book after, at McNally Robinson.

I'm going to read more, it just seems like something I should do.

I got "The Lie" by Chad Kultgen.

It looks good.

I don't really have a lot to say,

But I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things.

I was completely out of line.

Wish you the best...

In everything, I guess.

Music.

I tried giving Spaceman a chance... But I'm sorry, I really do not like the Killers. They don't make good music.

Their lyrics rarely make sence.

...oh fine, Spaceman at least has to do with a common theme, I'll give it that.

But let's use my favourite example, shall we?

When You Were Young.

Seriously, this song makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENCE WHATSOEVER.

Also, I don't like it that much musically, but that's beside the point.

"The Devil's water, it ain't so sweet, you don't have to drink right now. But you can dip your feet every once in a little while."

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

If you're allowed to dip your feet in it, why the fuck would you want to drink it?

Another one:

"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus,"

What the fuck.

If you were at a crime scene, and the police asked you if you saw the robber/murderer/rapist, and you said yes, they'd ask you to describe them.

If you said "Well, he doesn't look a think like Jesus,"

They'd probably beat you for being an idiot.

They don't care what he DOESN'T look like.

Why would you ever tell someone what someone DOESN'T look like?

"Oh, he doesn't look like a cantaloupe."

Thanks. That helps a lot.

OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT ME HATING THE KILLERS AND BRANDON FLOWERS.

I actually do like music, to be honest.

My song of the week, "Creepin' up the Backstairs" by the Fratellis.

Fuck I love the Fratellis.

Flathead? The best dance song ever made.

But seriously. Creepin' up the Backstairs is awesome.

And, unlike When You Were Young, it makes sense.

...lol.

"Creepin' up the backstairs, mother's nightmares. Fallin' in the front door, my my. Crawlin' in the window, get dressed, let's go. Take your brother's car keys, bye bye!"

It's about sneaking out of the house, durrhuur.

But fuck I love that song.

Now, to answer a question put forth by someone.

I'm doing fine, I guess.

I've been trying to keep my mind off of you, to make this easier.

Not working.

I couldn't fall asleep 'till two last night because I missed you so much.

I went to bed at 11.

I miss everything about you.

Most of all, I miss talking to you.

Do you even miss anything about me at all?

I know you miss ME, but what about things ABOUT me?

I'm not a very... 

Okay, how about: I'm a jackass.

I constantly made fun of you, I burned you on a regular basis, and laughed at you...

And I'm sorry. It was all in good humour...

I still love you, I really miss you.

I hope you're doing well.

Talk to you in a month, I guess...

Wow.

I had a lot to say today.

Money.

I've always had this one theory.

It was kinda like communism,

Except not.

Communism is all about people recieving the amount of pay equal to what they need.

Example,

A heart surgeon who lives by himself recieves X amount of money per year.

A garbage man with 5 children recieves 5X amount of money.

Because he simply needs more to survive.

But what's wrong with this is then the surgeon realizes:

"What? I get a fifth of what a garbage man makes? But I do more work! I guess if that's how it is, then I'll just do 1/5 of the work I usually do. Fair's fair, right?"

And then there are people with surgical tools sticking out of their chests because there's a pissed off doctor.

Now for my idea.

I say, get rid of money altogether.

Make everything free, so to speak.

People are allowed to take what they need, and some of what they want.

People obviously still work, just not for money.

They work for the welfare of everyone.

If everyone is curteous (sp?), then everyone will be happy to work.

Because then the thoughts are

"Well, if I stop working, then someone may suffer for it. What if that someone happens to be me? I like to live like this! I won't stop working! I must let people live a happy life!"

I know that sounds really corny and unrealistic, but that's what I think people should be like.

Anyway.

If people can take what they want and need, then people won't have a need to be jealous for others.

If someone says

"Man, that's a nice watch. I wish I had one like that."

He could go out and get one.

Also, there would be no poverty, because people would have what they need.

People would work, make the stuff, which other people would get, which would make them happy, they'd go to work and make stuff, make other people happy, work, get stuff, work, get stuff.

So on and so forth.

There are obvious flaws, like with human nature.

Someone would obviously go out and say

"That's nice, I want that."

Then someone would say

"Ooh, that's nice. I want something nicer, though."

And there'd be this chain of greed that just recedes into infinity.

Sure there are flaws,

but what makes us so perfect?

Enough.

There's never enough.

Everyone strives for something.

Money, power, women, those are the top three.

But when someone has it all,

They still want more.

They keep going and going and going and going until they die.

And what's left?

A huge stack of cash, or real estate, or a veritable Playboy's Mansion worth of women passed on to someone who did nothing to earn it.

That's what I don't get.

If someone knows they're about to die, if they're old or have been diagnosed with some uncurable cancer or what have you,

They keep the stuff.

No less, they strive for more stuff, to feel accomplished.

Congratulations, sir. You now have 7.3 Trillion dollars.

But you're too dead to spend it.

Sad for you.

How about we give it to your lazy-ass son who did absolutely nothing his entire life?

He deserves it more than the working man, right?

At least have the decency to spend it on something worthwhile.

Like, if you're about to die.

Spend your money on stuff.

Charities, or even personal items.

I don't care, fat stacks of cash do absolutely nothing to help people along.

Yet personal items do... somehow...

BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

I don't understand why people do this.

Sure, it's to make life more comfortable, and whatnot.

But how do people get this power?

Simple.

Born into families that did nothing to deserve it either.

Take the Rockefellers.

They invested their money into stocks during the great depression.

How retarded can you get, right?

Wrong.

The stocks bounce back up, they sell it and become billionares.

What did they do to deserve this money?

Nothing, they just decided that "DUR HUR I'LL PUT MY MONEY INTO A FAILING COMPANY!"

And they got power and wealth out of it.

Their descendants get a portion of this power and stuff,

Just for being bloodrelated.

Fair?

Nuh uh.

What about the people that work their asses off every fucking day of the year for minimal pay?

What do they get?

Hopes of a turkey dinner at Thanksgiving.

Thoughts of a Christmas that may or may not be coming.

Wondering if they'll have enough heat to survive the winter.

I say:

If people are so crazy about power and stuff,

Then spread it.

Overall, it can't do much bad.

If there's more worker morale-

If the worker that makes... let's say... carpets.

If they feel better because they have a comfier bed, or a warmer house,

Then they'll put more work into making their carpets.

There'll be an increase in carpet quality, so sales might go up-

If there's more worker morale, there's better quality stuff.

Which makes the bigwigs happier.

So, if there was more power to the working man, or at least more comfort,

Wouldn't the world be happier?

There would also be less poverty and dying people.

Because now they have money, and the necessities of life.

Doesn't that seem good enough?

Hyper.

holyshitwhatthefuckishappening.

I'm really hyper for no discernable reason.

I'm watching CSI.

oh shit son.

that bitch got STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBED.

ajsdflkjansdflkajnsdkn

I have a Fuze.

Natural drink, with a clusterfuck of fruit.

SO FUCKING GOOD.

Watermelon-Strawberry.

Two of my favourite things EVER.

shitshitshitwhothefuckisshootingusfireourshit

I wish I had people to talk to.

Like, on the phone.

I'm usually very entertaining when I'm like this.

Especially on the phone.

I usually make people laugh.

I like to make people laugh.

With me, not at me.

I guess that's always been a fear of mine, to be laughed AT, and not WITH.

Fuck I love watermelons.

RAAAAAAAMPAGING CANTALOUUUUUUUUUPES

shitshit

I wish I had more to do.

I have Rock Band, iMob, and now iVampire.

Oh, and drum lessons.

I need to practice that fucking latin beat.

It's so fucking weird.

I'll get it though.

Because I fucking love watermelons.

Dude, Horatio just took off his sunglasses.

Shit just got real.

EDIT: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD IT ACTUALLY HAS CANTALOUPES.

Sex.

THIS PICTURE WILL BE EXPLAINED LATER.

Sex is such a huge thing, and always has been.

It obviously didn't start that way, because cavemen wouldn't have been like "oh man, check out her ass. I'd tap that."

No.

They were primitive, and obviously had more than one person they had relations with.

But their lives did not revolve around it, as is done these days.

Sex is everywhere.

It dominates the media, in commercials, advertisements, so forth.

Everything is sold with half-naked men or women slapped on the cover.

It sells like hotcakes if it has beautiful people on it.

It makes people think that "if they have this, they'll be beautiful too."

Many, if not all, people strive for good looks, both with themselves, or their partner.

I, personally, don't care *that* much about looks. It's nice to have someone that's pleasing to the eye, but if someone's smoking hot and I can't stand their personality, they're not even a candidate.

I was reading about "The Five Most Badass Presidents of All Time" and JFK is one of them.

JFK had many women he slept with.

Marilyn Monroe (picture at the top. Yeah, wow.), Jane Mansfield, Angie Dickenson, and many famous porn stars, strippers, and Brazilian actresses and models.

And Audrey Hepburn.

Oh, and sometimes he had sex with his amazingly hot wife.

This was just all about me trying to figure out why sex is hugely important.

Sure, it's important for the human race to evolve,

but I don't know why everyone goes crazy for it.

Not anymore, at least.

Reset.

Alright then, folks.

Time to hit the ol' reset button.

I'm going to take Alex's advice, and stop thinking about you.

Maybe then I can finally stop being so...

Everything.

Sad, mopey, completely torn apart.

I'll just keep you off my mind.

SO I'M GONNA TAKE DRUM LESSONS.

AND MAYBE LEARN JAPANESE AS A SECOND LANGUAGE.

That'd be cool, actually.

I'm taking a drum lesson today, and another one on Thursday.

Japanese classes haven't even been discussed with my parents.

But they'll probably let me.

...relapse.

Sure this month'll be hard.

For the both of us.

Believe me, I care about you and love you.

But we both have people who love us and are here for us.

You have your friends, I have mine.

We'll get through it.

I love you.

Goodbye.

Wait up.

No matter what you think right now.

If you think I don't care, I do.

If you think I've moved on, I haven't.

If you think it didn't matter to me, it mattered more in the whole world.

No matter what you think, I'm not going to give up.

You mean more to me than anyone ever has, or will.

I will always love you.

Please talk to me.

wtf.

So you really think I've moved on? That after things like this I can suddenly be happy?

Some nerve you got there.

You're basically saying that I never loved or cared about you.

What the fuck.

Obviously nothing I ever did or said matters.

Maybe I should just give up on this.

On you.

Everything.

If nothing really matters, then what are we doing?

We're prolonging the already hard journey of life.

I won't fucking move on.

But I sure can force myself to look away.

Japanese.

I should totally learn Japanese as a second language.

That's what I'm going to set myself to do, to prove I have dedication.

Learn Japanese.

I already know some simple words and phrases.

"Domo" means "Thanks", "Moshi Moshi" means "Hello (only if you're on the phone)", "Hai" means "Okay", "Suki Desu" means "I love you", "O genki desu ka" means "How are you", random stuff like that.

It's a beautiful language, really.

That's going to be my active quest, to learn it.

Then become fluent.

Then act like a crazy Japanese tourist all the time.

Funfunfun.

My Beliefs.

Something just happened that I cannot explain.

Words fail me at this point.

I just reached a state of enlightenment.

Nirvana.

I felt as if a huge weight has been lifted.

All about what I believe:

I believe in many things.

Mostly spiritual energies: 

Chi, karma, luck.

I also believe in the afterlife, but not the conventional kind.

We don't turn into angels with wings and pristine white robes and sit on clouds and get everything we want.

PERFECT RIGHT?

no.

I believe that people get what they earned in life.

It continues into the afterlife, just amplified.

It's a hard concept to grasp, and I can't exactly explain.

But whatever.

I also believe in fate, and soulmates.

Things like that.

If something happens, it was meant to happen.

There's a reason for it, it's just not directly expressed.

When the world fades to a darker shade, because since we are purely mortal,

Answers become clear.

No question goes unanswered, no stone unturned.

The way I see it,

People do things for an ultimate reason,

To fulfil their purpose.

Whatever they have to do on earth to achieve their purpose is simply fate.

Bad things happen, yes.

They were fated to happen.

Without bad, the world would be perfect.

Although,

Perfection is a tricky thing.

People say "If the world was perfect..."

What kind of perfect?

Perfectly peaceful?

Perfectly fat?

Perfectly evil?

Perfectly sexual?

The world we live in is a culmination of everything that physically be.

So in a way,

This world is already perfect.

Whenever bad things happen, we ultimately have to accept it that it happened for a reason.

You have to step back and say "I respect your decision."

Yes, decision.

People may have fates, but I do not believe they're written in stone.

They can be bent, morphed, twisted.

You just ultimately have to say

"This happened for a reason that is not made clear. Things like this have to happen for the world to function. Etc, etc."

I've learned I need to be more patient, and I will be.

This is what I believe in,

This is my religion.

Just so you know.

This is a conversation between me and Allie.

Just read it.

Allie's messages are in bold, mine are normal.

__________________________________________________________________

								There have been so many times where I thought I was truly happy.
								There have been two moments that I can remember when I was truly happy.
								Both involving Emma.
								thats so...touching? i was going to say 'adorable', but you guys are more than that
								Wanna hear them?
								...sure
								First one was when she first told me she loved me.
								Second was when I was at her house,
								We were on the couch.
								And I was holding her.
								We kissed,
								Then after we pulled away,
								I just looked at her.
								And at that very moment was when I realized how lucky I was to have found someone as amazing as her, and how much I loved her.
								That one second was so moving,
								I actually almost cried.
								i hope you realize theres absolutly nothing i can say to that
								In a bad way?
								in the best way possible
								So yeah.
								Those are the most memorable, happiest moments of my life.
								She fucking meant everything to me. ______________________________________________________ This is the last depressing thing I have left, I swear. After this I'm leaving it alone. I'm going to force myself to move on, to move past this point in my life. I love you. P.S. Shout out to Andrew P. for helping me out throughout this.

FYI

You say to let myself fall to see if I can pick myself back up.

I say I may fall harder than you think I will.

Quote.

(quote=Sarah Ban Breathnach)The authentic self is the soul made visible.(/quote)

^This.

I felt like I could be me around you. I WAS me around you. Sure, I did some things that were mixes of different parts of me that I usually have power over, but they were still ME. I can control it, and I've learned that I need to. I have the control. Give me a chance again. Please. This has been the most excruciating 5 days of my life. Having to go through another 26 is just cruel and unusual punishment. I want you. I NEED you. Please, one more chance. Just to be friends, even. I miss you. I'm falling apart without you.

...please.

Robert Munsch.

My favourite line from a book just became more personal for me.

"A mother rocked her newborn baby back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And as she held him, she sang: "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

From Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.

Robbie's in the top ten for "Best Person Ever Born".

He's second to Mr. Rogers.

Mr. Rogers' whole life was dedicated to us getting along.

He should get the Nobel Peace Prize.

No joke.

In closing.

To you, reader.

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my babe you'll be.

<3

Right.

Making up a poem right now.

_________________

Right

What is wrong?

What is right?

Answers hidden

In plain sight.

What is night?

What is day?

What is noon 

anyway?

What is black?

What is blue,

When there's nothing

Left to do?

What is up?

What is down?

Pain abundant,

All around.

Even though life

Has pain to bring,

Don't hurt others.

Do the right thing.

_____________

Done in "I don't give a crap" format. Written in 3 minutes at 11:50.

I tried to fit a message into a crappy little poem. I just want the right thing to be done.

NOW FOR THE EXPLAINATION!

This whole situation is being executed in the worst way possible.

If we don't talk for a whole month, we'll obviously miss the little things we love about eachother.

Then when they're back, we'll want to shower ourselves in these things, because we missed them.

I think the proper way to do this would have been to keep talking, and not be involved.

So there's no obligation, no hassle.

We wouldn't have had to do anything, but we'd still be able to talk.

Oh, well, I guess it's too late now.

Fuck I miss you.

27 days 'till Earth Day.

27 days until I can stop falling apart.

lol poem again.

I just wrote another. I have dedicated it. You know who you are.

_______________________

Lessons

I've learned my lesson;

Is that not enough?

Probably not, I should say,

Being dragged through the rough.

All the things that I've done,

Some for better, some for worse,

If they did not mean anything,

Would I be writing this verse?

There is not much to say,

Bound and gagged with my sorrow.

All I can hope for, I guess,

Is a brighter tomorrow.

Empty inside,

Voids too big to fill.

No hacks, no cheat codes,

Fixed purely by will.

I can't take them back,

All the things that I've done.

But I will say I'm sorry

To you who is the one.

_______________________

Written in approx. 5 minutes while watching hockey. Written using the notepad application on my iPhone.

I like adding the part after, explaining the poem and stuff. I'll keep it.

I'll make another one in the style of the Oyster Boy book tomorrow.

Now for the bloggish part.

I don't know if this is purely a coincidence, but after... let's just call it "the situation", I've felt sick.

Not emotionally sick, physically sick. I actually had to stay home today. I could barely talk or stand up. 

My theory is: I'm so sad about it that my body's immune system is too emotionally drained to work. 

One girl can't possibly mean this much...

...can she?

P.S.

I just lost the game.

Truth.

This is really fucking hard.

(If you laugh, you're a terrible person.)

I bet you just laughed.

But anyway.

I'm not very good at dealing with this.

I've been talking with people a lot, and it seems to help.

More than I ever thought it could.

I guess you just need a few bad events to bring out the people who are truly your friends.

Me and Andrew realized that we're best friends, which is awesome.

All through my life I've only had 2 TRUE best friends.

And now I have another.

That's the highlight of my week, but the down outweighs the good.

Nothing could make me feel better now.

The only thing that could remotely feel better won't happen until April 22nd, or later.

I'll just have to wait until then...

Poetry helps. I'll be writing depressing poems more and more.. it helps get rid of emotions.

I understand what's going on. I know this is hard. It's hard for me.

But I just can't get my head around the fact that we can't talk.

I'd like some indirect comments about my poem, by the way.

P.S. I still love her. With all my heart.

poem2

I wrote another poem today, this one rhymes.

_____________________________

Flame Boy

I guess it was neat

He could combust when he wanted.

But this power had a limit;

An extent to be flaunted.

One day he went out

To an arts and crafts store.

He burst into flame

Then rolled on the floor.

The paper caught fire

And the felt markers too.

Those, in turn, set ablaze

The worker's craft glue.

When the glue caught the spark,

The craft store exploded.

The mother's love for Flame Boy

Undeniably eroded.

___________________________

Done in the style of those poems/short stories in Tim Burton's The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Short Stories.

I love that book.

The poems are deliciously depressing.

P.S. I miss you already, but I doubt you care.

lolpoem.

I'm rather bored, So I'm going to write a poem. Right here and now.

Ivory

The flash of fingers,

The hum of wire,

Dextrous hands fly

Over time stained keys.

Faces turned stone

At the sound of emotion

Materialized.

The laquered oak,

The golden pedals,

Material covered hammers

Striking in sequence.

Apartheid apperent

On your outward face.

Yet the whites and blacks

Will work in unison

To astound thousands.

Notes and rhythms join

To express thoughts

Intangible.

Woah.

I haven't done this in a while. I guess it's just a nice thing to do, kinda like a vacation.

A lot has happened in the past while. Me and my girlfriend broke up and got back together, I got awesomely awesome at Rock Band even though I actually suck, and I guess overall I've just been kinda happy. I didn't really see a reason to blog, because I had nothing to talk about. I mean, I always talk to her every night, for like, hours. And it makes me feel really good. 

There are lots of things I wanna talk about, but I'd rather not, because SHE KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT HERE.

So it's better off that I leave all you other people in the dark.

She thinks that she doesn't help me out.

She has no idea.

;)

Trust.

I should hope that you trust me.

Because I trust you.

Catastrophe.

I can't understand.

I wish I could.

I'm built to help or something, I dunno.

Please don't do anything bad.

Or drastic.

I care about you too much.

I love you too much.

I'm here for you.

Please talk to me.

...please?

Desufnoc.

I don't even know what to do.

I'm so worried.

And anxious.

What a weird word, anxious.

If you break it into its derivatives, it turns into anx and ious.

Everyone knows that -ious is a suffix, so what the hell's an "anx"?

Probably some "Ye Olde English" stuff.

But I have no idea what to do.

This is so confusing.

I want to help, but I can't. And I need to help.

BUT I CAN'T.

Fuck I'm confused.

asdfansdlfkajhsvauirvnuarvladufvn;a

I thought this would help.

But this isn't going anywhere.

Great.

Addictive.

Hooray for one word titles, obviously stolen from someone I know.

Anyway, I seem to have an addictive personality.

Once I find something I like, I do it over and over again until I get bored of it.

I swear that wasn't supposed to be sexual.

I mean like, if I find a game that I find REALLY fun, I'll play it until I get EVERYTHING. Like, all the secrets, everything. Then I get bored and find a new game.

But in that week or so that I play the game, I get really into it. I always find something that's awesome about it.

I recently had a bout of addiction with the online computer game ForumWarz, and I have to say it's really fun. I only stopped playing because there was nothing left for me to do. I had already beaten all the forums, bought all the best equipment, etc, etc.

And I always, ALWAYS either stop being into it very suddenly, or find it so enthralling that I can't live without it.

Take Rock Band, for instance.

I'm very open to say that I like that game a lot.

Addicted, even.

People point that out to me all the time, "Wow, you really like that game don't you?"
"Can you please talk about something else?"

Stuff like that. But the thing is, I don't think they understand my personality.

I was also very into the Artix Entertainment brand online games (Adventure Quest, Dragon Fable, AQ Worlds, etc.) Yes, I know those are very nerdy games, but I tried AdventureQuest once and was immediately and completely hooked. I played that game for a solid week after trying it. I got to level 80, which is awesome. And like, I just couldn't stop playing. It was so addicting. I just don't get my personality this way. Sometimes I think it's a really bad thing.

It also applies to how I listen to music. When I like a song, I usually:
1. Download it to my iPod.
2. Play the song.
3. Loop the song over and over.
4. Get bored.

5. Find new song.

6. Go to step 1.

And people just don't understand it. They think I'm crazy for listening to the same song over and over again. But that's just how I am. When I like something, I guess sometimes I take it too far. Like now, I think I might be getting addicted to BlogSpot now.

Oh boy.

Here we go again...

Holy.

I think my first post pushes the limits on the phrase "Wall of Text."

D:

Time to make a blog that absolutely no one will read!

Hey there.

I don't really know what to say...

I've never had a blog before.

I think I had a journal once... but I lost it or something.

I guess... tell all you people about myself?

I play Rock Band... a lot. You have no idea. I'm basically addicted to it.

I play the drums... but only on Rock Band. I really want to be a drummer, but I don't have time for lessons or the money for a kit. It makes me pretty sad.

Oh man. My girlfriend is absolutely amazing. You have no idea. She's smart, beautiful, hilarious, and just absolutely crazy... in a good way. She completes me, you know? I just can't begin to understand how I could find someone like her.

Who am I kidding? No one's going to read this... I guess I just need a place to anonymously post my thoughts. Whatever, at least it's out there.

So this past week has been pretty great. I hung out with my girlfriend, and got my exam marks back and was honestly surprised with the results. They weren't spectacular, but they were better than I thought I was going to do.

So yeah. I forgot my fucking XBox hard drive at my friends house. I need to pick it up. But I keep forgetting. Fuck.

But yeah. This is a failure of a blog. I don't even know why I'm doing this.

I would totally prefer doing a vlog than a blog. I can talk better than I type sometimes.

This week was good. And I hope there's another good one coming up.

There's a dance on Thursday, and I'm going with her.

I'm excited.

:3